About
What therapy is like with me…
Imagine meeting up for tea with a friend that wants to know about your actual thoughts and feelings. A kind of vulnerability opens within you as you realize that someone is actually here to listen to you.
You know that you can’t bullshit this friend. You never feel judged but you know that this friend will hold you accountable. They understand what you’re going through, but they don’t sign off on any bullshit.
These sessions become something that you look forward to each week. You notice that your relationships are healthier, and you are beginning to feel confident with family, friends, and coworkers.
Eventually, you and your therapist discover that you have become more independent, and capable of navigating the relationships that you originally came in to work on. With goals met and a new sense of self – the strength you find here is now the strength that you take with you wherever you go.
Therapy that immediatley begins helping you develop meaningful relationships with yourself and others.
You’ll sit down in the session excited to learn something new about yourself. After a quick check-in, we will get down to the nitty-gritty.
“What’s the nitty-gritty?” you ask. First, it’s observing how critical and demeaning you might be toward yourself and others. You might quickly observe how unwittingly you avoid or stir up problems for yourself. But it may take some time to get used to self-accountability.
Some people employ avoidance toward emotion. Others can’t help pursuing it as often as they do. Some have tried for a long time to resolve interpersonal distress but have burned out.
These examples are just a few of the things that make relationships fall apart. Guiding people through relationships is what I love doing. If individuals and couples are motivated, they can learn how to reconstruct themselves and enjoy fulfilling and meaningful relationships.
Show up, do the work, and rediscover your love for each other.
Some clients rediscover the love they had for each other when they first met. Others find love for the first time in the most unlikely of places. And others find love for themselves that they have never had before.
Ultimately, what a client or couple gets out of therapy depends on how much they put in. I’ve seen people show up late, distracted, half-hearted, and more-or-less checked out. These signs don’t always mean that therapy will fail, but it almost certainly means that the therapy won’t help much.
If you want the therapy to help your relationship(s), then you’ve got to commit 100%. I’ve tracked the numbers. Those couples who are on time, meet with me weekly, and complete a three- to six-month course of treatment see positive changes. Those Individuals that meet for at least one year or more see the most monumental gains.
Don’t come to therapy if you plan to keep physically abusing anyone. And don’t come if you’re going to be 15 minutes late or miss every other week. Bring emotions and thoughts to process! And that’s all you need to do. Come as you are.
About Me
My passion for helping couples was formed when I was quite young.
From a very young age, I remember watching my parents argue with each other. And it was very difficult to feel helpless and scared when things escalated between them.
By watching and listening to what they said and didn’t say to each other, I learned a lot. I often wished that they would just listen to what they were saying to each other because I could tell they were both in so much pain.
The funny part is that we all grow up and find that life is full of difficulties and pain. I loved and still love both my parents very much.
I got married myself only to find that it was never as simple as I thought it was growing up. Marriage can be tough! But it can be extremely fulfilling, too!
Nonetheless, it requires careful daily attention and intention. I still mess up frequently and find that I can always be a better husband. As for my parents – well, I have nothing but admiration for the commitment they’ve had for each other despite the struggle of being human.
When I encountered the Gottman Institute, it transformed how I approach conflict in my own life. As a therapist, I am passionate about sharing it and other methods.
My practice philosophy:
When empathy abounds, then solutions tend to emerge on their own.
If you’re not having fun, then you need to do something differently.
Be sincere but beware of being serious; the latter demands control where the former invites vulnerability.
When I’m not working…
I love to lift at the gym. In my free time, I love to bike, cook, meditate, and study. I study poetry, theology, metaphysics, philosophy, horror and any mythology that I can get my hands on.
My favorite season is fall, and I celebrate Halloween from the beginning of September through the end of October. Secret: I am a savory popcorn fiend. None of that kettle corn crap.